the wood stove season has begun!
now all i want to do is watch comedy on Netflix & mend clothes
(seriously, every pair of jeans has been patched at least once…)
this will be my third Winter living here with the woodstove
i love it.
the cats love it too.
that’s Izzy, totally zonked.
lucky me i get to be with them passed out in the evenings.
this is Sophie, and i have disturbed her existence…
i get to stack wood & keep the fire going & make sure there’s a stockpile of newspaper & kindling.
i love every part of heating with a wood stove.
(i feel like that doofus cartoon character who is all crazy about going to the city to meet girls. except in my case i’m all crazy about the wood stove.)
for three years before living here, i lived in a very sweet, and very cold studio apartment in a barn.
had a beautiful view, was nearby very nice people, but HOLY CRAP it was cold.
there was propane fuel, so not only was it cold, it was expensive to “heat”.
now the wood stove is going…
it’s lovely.
“hell in a box” is its nickname.
i live in a basement apartment in a house with my housemates/landlords.
i share the kitchen.
i like living in the basement.
for the first time in my life (well, since being a teenager…) that i can sleep past 6am.
(it’s a minor miracle when i sleep til 8.)
i used to wake up at 5 and not be able to get back to sleep.
now it’s no problem.
it happens every day – when Izzy, one of the cats, wakes me up between 4:30 & 5am to make sure they have kibble for the day…
(i consider this a part of my cat nanny responsibilities. and anyways it’s a good time to stoke the fire…)
and i’m able to go back to sleep.
fortunately, work begins at 10am, so, there’s time to sleep a bit more, and plenty of time to get ready in the morning.
i used to rush rush rush
now i don’t like to rush
when i rush i always forget something
so i try to take my time
breathe
notice what i’m doing.
i may not make the big bucks, but i do enjoy my mornings.
as i write this
i can feel a sort of guilty slime descending in my mind…
like it’s not okay to have a life like this.
i think there’s something in me that thinks it’s not okay to take time.
fortunately, i have friends who have seen me bust my ass working really hard, and they remind me that it’s okay to live like this.
i shake my head at myself
“jeez Marn, you are 42 years old and you still need the validation from your friends about your life?!?!?”
yep.
i do.
i’m still working on stuff.
still releasing old old habit patterns of thoughts and behaviors and beliefs.
baffling how deep the grooves run.
and how effort-full (and worth it) to actively practice doing something differently…
The Salted Banana 