Tag Archives: kindness

Remembering reminders after forgetting.

I forgot to relate to my suffering with curiosity.



I don’t even think it was a matter of forgetting, because to forget, one has to remember, or have some sense of mind-awareness of it in the first place.

So I guess I wasn’t forgetting, but merely embroiled in a cloud of an internal swirling mix of thoughts, projections, worrying, misperceptions, feelings, & emotions.

Sounds like fun, no?



(Raise your hand if anyone out there feels things really deeply)

O hiiiiiiii!



Stop, & pause & breathe.

I forget to stop. To stop & breathe & just feel, notice, be curious about what is happening inside & outside.

Curiosity out the window

I need to invite curiosity to be my pocket roommate & constant intimate companion.



There is a kind of gentleness which comes automatically when I turn towards the critters & the wild things of this world



Even the weather outside receives the open attention & wonder



This mind sometimes not so different from a box of potatoes gone growing…



Um….

Interesting, lovely, amazing even – the will & intelligence of the potato

(Hello Compost)

This quality of attention rarely gets turned around

But that needs to change.



Meditation practice has helped yes

And I need to continue with sitting practice, & to not only read the Dharma –

(Thank you Pema for your practice & writing. thank you Margie for reminding me to re-read When Things Fall Apart, & thank you Mielle for sending me the book in 2009)

– but I seem to require listening to the Dharma as well.

http://www.dharmaseed.org/talks/audio_player/315/23234.html



It’s like a returning, a remembering, a face-palm “o yes, THIS! I forgot!”



I’ve been avoiding listening to Dharma talks, because for a while the talks just triggered the thinking about someone who (relatively) recently broke up with me & so I just stopped listening to avoid that trigger.

But it’s my medicine.

My medicine.

And since I’m not in a Dharma community, it’s up to me to surround myself with whatever medicine helps tend to this mind.



Seeding helps, working with plants helps 

Listening to the Dharma helps…

Making art…



Taking photos, noticing beauty in & of the world





Today is a new day

To practice, to remind myself, to remember when I forget

& to practice the kinder attention.



Gratuitous photo of Genuine, enjoying her grass

(Thank you, Jean, for the photo!)



May you remember the feeling of kindness as your experience of this day unfolds.


Making do, whatever works, wondering about what could be.

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I will admit
I felt a mix of excitement and joy and pride when the odometer in my car passed 200,000 miles.

Thank you Honda.

13 years ago I had the money to buy a car, and needed one for work, and so I chose a Honda Civic because I heard that they could run for 250,000 miles.
I’ve been trying to keep it tidy these days, even vacuumed it out.

It’s got, um, character.

Take, for instance, the ceiling…

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Which began to separate – the fabric, that is, from the ceiling back in 2004 while living in the extremely dry desert.
Which would have cost $500 to repair.

So instead, I used craft glue.

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And duct tape and push pins.

It kept the fabric up to the ceiling, and not drooping down onto my head, flapping in the wind when the windows are rolled down.

Until just recently…

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So out came the craft glue and push pins.

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A day to dry in place, and voila!

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Whatever works.

This, about my car, is silly little thing to share.

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What is on my mind these days is wondering about what is needed…
What is needed in this United States world for African-American young men to feel welcome here in their own country.
What needs to happen for this?
What would the world feel like, look like?
A sense of welcome, the promise of possibility, the space for a soul’s potential…

Sometimes, I wonder if their current experience might be similar to how it was for Jews back in pre-WW2 Europe.

The truth is, I don’t know.
I have no idea.
I’m just trying to feel into it
Trying to hold some space for wondering what could be possible
To help bridge connections.

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These photos were taken yesterday
In town, on the sidewalk.

Much gratitude for whoever took the time to write these.
For sharing kindness.

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