Tag Archives: gratitude

The best day, ever.

Every now & again
There is the best day, ever.

I volunteer as a Land Steward for the local Land Trust
And this best day ever began on a walk with the owner of one of the properties I help monitor

Just into the walk, some amazing life was discovered

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Please say hello to Chlorociboria aeruginascens
(Aka The Green Elfcup)
I had never seen this beauty before.

After walking the boundary of their property, I headed over to the garden

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And the bucket was full quickly with various generosities from the plant world which I was now ushering to the compost pile in preparation of the beds for the coming Winter

Thank you Tomatoes!
Thank you Tomatillos!
Thank you Coreopsis & Calendula & Basil!
Thank you Serranos!
Thank you Sunflowers!

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There was a bit of an overflow, due to the gorgeous day

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It was wise to take advantage of the perfect weather & the owners’ willingness to till one of the beds for the Fall planting of garlic.

So out came the rest of the beets, and carrots
And, with a bit of sadness, two marigold plants

*sniff*

As I dug carrots, the sheep began to gather nearby

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I love eating local carrots, especially ones that I’ve grown
But offering the carrot tops to the
sheep is honestly the best part

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O I love dem sheepies

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She’s my favorite
So friendly
Look at that face!

A bit of weeding & raking,
and in about two weeks, I’ll put the garlic to bed again, till next July

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Before leaving, I gathered up the cured Winter squash from the greenhouse
(I think I left it in there a bit too long…
O well)
Brought home some garlic for cooking, and a few Fennel fronds that were drying & peppers gifted by the owners from the hoop house

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It felt so good to be outside for the entire day

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The abundance of this time of year always takes me by surprise.
Such abundance
So much gratitude

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One of my favorite times of the year.

This time of year
Is one of My Favorite Times of the year.

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Winter Squash is coming in

(The Kabocha, the dark green critter, has a couple slug tastings munched out of it, so won’t make it to Deep Winter)

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The Sungold tomatoes are still doing their thing

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Potatoes are being dug for storage
Beets staying firm in the soil
& a few Serrano Peppers still managing to ripen through this cooler-than-usual Summer

There are herbs for tea & seeds for the following season
drying above the refrigerator

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And scattered around other locations in the apartment

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Thank you Late Summer
Thank you Winter, Thank you Spring
Thank you Summer
Thank you Autumn


Dear Winter,

Dear Winter,

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i know you are getting ready to go

i can see it in your light

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can hear it in the morning bird song

the sticky, fat buds of the Horse Chestnut trees are a dead-giveaway.

i know a lot of humans are glad you’ll be going.

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but i just wanted to let you know

that i really am glad you were here

and that i’ll miss you

and hope you’ll return again.

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sure, i’m among those who get scared about driving while you are here

but that’s a price i’ll pay for your visit.

at no other time in the year do people slow down in the way they do while you’re here.

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there’s a quiet you bring that i love & appreciate.

a beauty like no other time of year.

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mysteries are revealed in your presence.

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and omigosh tending the wood stove is one of my favorite things to do.

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so

while there are many people talking about your leaving, and while you may or may not hear what they say

i just wanted to let you know that i love you

and appreciate you

no matter the intensity of your presence.

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Spring – while with its own loveliness & beauty & gifts – is sometimes a hard time for me

and it’s because of you & your presence that makes it bearable.

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so, thanks for coming, and for staying a while.

i’ll admit, i feel sad to say good-bye to you.

there are others like me, who love you, too.

but i don’t know if they wrote to you, so – just to let you know that you’ve got appreciators & admirers.

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i’ll write in the coming months.

hope to see you again,

love

Marney


frisson, the practice of staying, & other ramblings.

sometimes

i wish i had began blogging anonymously.

didn’t think of it till later

(this is one of the stories of my life…)

rush headlong into something and then *whoa* and then freak out and hide.

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not that i don’t appreciate people reading my blog

i do

it always feels like an honor…

it’s just that i know some of the people who might see the blog

and it makes it sorta challenging to be brave / to not be shy sometimes, you see…

(cue Piglet wringing his hands and standing, feet askew…)

i feel embarrassed, or shame, or like coming out of a closet of sorts…

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so a word

i just learned a word this week from the Lady Queen Rabbit

frisson 

it’s a French word

that means something like an inner tingle, an excitement.

something that i haven’t been feeling

i’m not going to self-diagnose and call it depression

but there is a sort of

um

numb-ish feeling

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and often swirling in “what the hell am i doing with my life” sort of thoughts

i try to drop into my experience of things deeper

like folding the laundry, for example

(an activity that i really don’t enjoy)

but if i can bring my mind to begin to think of gratitude, it changes the whole situation…

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(amazing drawing done by a child)

gratitude for the clean clothes

for the water that just magically appears at the push of a button

the miracle of soap

the people who sewed each garment

their lives, their stories

that i have a warm & dry place to stand as i fold these clothes

that they keep me warm and from scaring people

(low blow self-depreciating humor, sorry, old habit, so hard to give it up…)

ahem.

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so this frisson thing…

i’m not sure where to find it.

Lady Queen Rabbit posited that perhaps it’s in the art-making process.

this may well be true.

i have yet to test this theory out recently

but i do have the memory of “getting lost” in the process of art-making and it being a sort of intoxicating/satisfying experience.

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(another child’s drawing.  i LOVE children’s drawings…..)

so, to carve out the time to do this art-making

for some reason

has been extremely difficult lately.

no motivation, no frisson

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maybe it’s simply a time for just being with the quiet-numb-feeling and not trying to change, fix, or run away from it.

to just notice things as they are, watch them shift…

then repeat.

tall order for this twitchy rabbit.

i feel the urge to cause some sort of radical shift, some sort of big sweeping change…

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but i’m pretty sure that no matter what, there’d soon follow a settling into this feeling-state again…

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i’m tempted, now, to learn French

it seems like a very rich language.

although, i admittedly suck at the pronunciation of many French words…

(and then there’s the memory aspect of remembering words…)

this morning

i was thinking of my Yaya

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wondering how or where she found her frisson as she moved through her days…

imagining her ironing…  making meals for herself…  tending to her geraniums…

i guess we all have to find our own sort of connection with this spark/arc/connection with spirit within us…

and i’m having a hard time finding mine

but

i’m trying.

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(hipster spatula)

at the suggestion of a friend, i’m reading The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron, and am in the first week of exercises.

we’ll see what unfolds.

and

i’ll keep noticing the beauty that is all around me

and

i’ll keep watching things like this.

wishing everyone a lovely Solstice.