Tag Archives: dogs

Reflecting a bit about My Elder/s.

I remember the first day I worked for my Elders

  
– though I didn’t call them that then.

It was November 2009

  
And I remember feeling nervous.

  
Nervous that they wouldn’t like the lunch I had made…

Nervous that we wouldn’t find things to talk about…

  
Nervous that I wouldn’t be smart enough to hold a conversation with them…

I had met them in the Spring of 2008 while working on a landscape gardening crew – and we tended their beautiful perennial garden.

  
It’s funny to reflect on that nervousness now, because over time… week after week after week, their lives became a huge part of my life.

  
There was a kind of braiding together

Nervousness gave way to a sense of ease

They became my anchor.

  
Through changing homes, relationships, and a variety of other part-time jobs… They were my one steadiness.

  
I came to love them & their dog

They came to know me & my quirks

Their home became familiar territory

  
And as I look through the rooms

I’m reminded of them, of conversations, the many meals, hugs, mannerisms & habits I had the honor to witness & be a part of for the past almost 6 years.

   
 “Would you like some black pepper?” I asked, lifting the pepper grinder

& was told early-on “fresh ground black pepper”

And so, at lunch, went the question: would you like some FRESH GROUND black pepper?

Nearly always, the reply was YES

  

Markers of time, reminders are everywhere 

His chair where he sat

Her chair where she sat

The clock with large numbers, easier to read, marks the time after his surgery

  
A stuffed toy left on the floor, a moose chew toy belonging to Bentley, the ancient puppy

Pinching salt in a dish

The ubiquitous box of Kleenex 

  
Wedding invitations from a grandchild

A pile of letters from another grandchild

Well-worn sweatshirts (which I feel compelled to wear, though I stop myself…) 

  
There are numerous photos, the smell of cigars & cinnamon, and long-lived plants (a few which have stories told about them) like this Hoya now after 19 years, in bloom…

  
For this past week, my elder was home, surrounded by family, lovingly tended to, & there was only breathing…

  
And though I have no sense of what it was like for him during that time 

(He stopped speaking at that point)

It was an honor to simply be with him 

  
A sacred time

  A slow unbraiding

Even now, sitting here, pausing now & again to look around & really take in the surroundings, a swirl from past moments floods my mind

& then coming present, that sense of honor… What an honor it is to have gotten to be in these dear people’s lives over time

  
We got to really know each other.

“We’re such lucky, lucky people” she would say.

  
There will likely be other posts reflecting on them, & my time working for them…

It’s all kinda fresh, still.


Web of sadness, Anchor’s away, & the unfolding of things.

i try to respect the privacy of people.

Even my own – but it’s a strange line, especially when there’s this mix of shyness coupled with a curious desire to simple say what’s so

Check out the awesome socks!

Hand knit by my Elder’s eldest daughter.  
My Elder, my Anchor is away

He’s been away at times – and his body is wrestling with brain cancer.

A brilliant man, an honored Physicist.

He gave me his blessings to write about it on the blog

But I haven’t, really.

I feel sensitive to how it will land, what I’ll likely forget to say, or what I’ll write & how that will land

  
Here’s his ancient puppy, Bentley

I love them both

My elder & his dog

And this family has been my anchor for the past 6 years of my seemingly-ever-shifting life

He’s still Here, but I miss him when he’s away.

  
My mind knows

The nature of coming & going

Not unlike the inhale & exhale

  
But this knowing doesn’t keep the heart from feeling a deep sadness

  
Connecting to a larger web of sadness as thoughts of Nepal, and boats filled with migrant people comes to (heart)mind…

Connecting that to my own family line who left their countries in an attempt & hope of escaping prejudice & violence not all that long ago.

 
The hummingbirds have returned

Two (well, four, really) Dear Friend’s will soon give birth to life anew

  
And life continues to unfold.

Some

Heading out

Some

Coming in

  
I know I need to find my own anchor within

 
It’s a challenge for me.

Guess it’s time for more walks in the woods.

   


Winter, seedlings, ancient dogs, cats, & critter poop.

O Winter…



I’m so glad you were here.

In your gentleness, in your intensity, I’m glad you were here.



Your quiet beauty touches me so



And with the weather being what it’s been, I see you disappearing.

People are looking forward to Spring.

I will look forward to your return after the warm seasons.



This past Sunday, the warming weather & light brings on the seedlings



Well, that and the propane heater…



Many, many babies!



even some of the onions have begun to peek out of the soil.



Each week, more seeding is done.

About 40 trays this past Sunday





Including 8 trays of Spinach

The Spinach seeds remind me of Lupine seeds.

Which I first saw while living in the Mojave Desert.

I’d sit outside with Oni, my cat, sitting on my lap – he’d nap, & I’d collect prickly seeds (in a futile attempt to eradicate them from the yard) while the Lupines, at a certain time of the year, would quietly pop their pods, scattering their speckled seeds.



A little more grey, more flat, & speckled… Would be closer to Lupine. These seeds are Spinach.

Lots and lots of Spinach to come.



This dog is ancient.

His name is Bentley.

Who is nearly 100 or more in dog years. He loves his walks, especially in Winter, and dog biscuits.



We usually walk side by side in a fast clip, but since I had my phone/camera that day, I was lagging behind



And when I stopped to snap a photo, he stopped & looked back, as if to say: what the hell are you doing it’s walk time



Very serious, joyful business: walks.

He rolls & lays in the snow

Which always makes me laugh out loud in sympathetic joy



he sticks close as I peel off my coat & scarf… Then he gets a couple small biscuits 



This is the face after cookies, but showing his “cute ears face” because I’m a sucker, & he’s ancient, and to sort of quote Marcel the Shell, “it’s all about snoozin’ & treats” & he knows I’ll give him one more.



Champion napper.





Today I got to see Sophie & Izzy

(Photos by Jenny from the previous week)

Sophie is beautiful, no matter how ridiculous…

& Izzy wary & awakened by Sophie who may want to usurp the kitty bed…



It felt so good to be outside today



Walking a path back & forth, back & forth



Stacking wood

One of my favorite activities



Home was found

With two entry/exit ways burrowed into the snow bank



And poop

Keeping the inside tidy…



It was towards the middle top of this image…

I wrecked somebody’s bathroom.



The forsythia buds are swelling.

Farewell Winter. Thank you, I love you, please come back in October or November for another long visit…?


Good morning from Caroline.

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Yesterday
Three people asked:
So, do you have any big plans for the weekend?

And for a noticed second
I thought about it,
Yes, there was a relatively big plan. Continue reading