Tag Archives: aversion

Habit mind, rabbit mind, beautiful day for a walk.

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Remember this Ghost plant?
Aka: Indian pipe
Aka: Monotropa uniflora

Here’s what this lovely looks like these days

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In its dramatic wintery outfit

Yes,
Everything changes.

Was a beautiful day today

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Balmy
In the low 30s and sunny

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Perfect day for a walk

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Been thinking about habit mind
Or rabbit mind…
And mind managing
Mind tending

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This rabbit mind has a wild imagination
As a child it heard voices downstairs that would call me halfway down the stairs in the night
Only then realizing there were no voices downstairs
But then I’d be stuck in the middle of the staircase
Too scared to go down or back up

This mind is not so different
Despite wishing it were different

With mind tending, gotta care for the mind we find
Work with what’s here

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What was here was an ancient doll
A CREEPY doll
At the housesitting house
Wild mind did as wild mind does
Goes wild
So, how to manage?

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Whatever works.
Thank you, pillows.
(And saying a mantra whenever walking by the room at night)

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Rabbit mind habit mind tracks get worn
Gotta work with what is here
With kindness

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Acknowledging the aversion (wishing the mind were different, wishing I were different) & delusion (let’s not even contemplate the scary stories one could spin in the night about little miss creepy doll down the hall)

Like acknowledging the weather

Aversion & delusion akin to a wintery mix like ice & sleet

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Drive slow
Be mindful
Acknowledge the hazards

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And you’ll make it home

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Reminders, starting here, & working with the mind.

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something about the days before the New and Full moons

wow

i get to see the mind, this mind

so unwholesome, so identified with unwholesome states.

it can be quite painful.

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listening to Dharma is, and has been so helpful.

very, very nourishing to me

lately it seems like the only good food

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that and connecting with others

and tending to the plants

and being with cats.

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(this is Artemis – from 2011)

sometimes, i think, maybe this isn’t enough.

but that, perhaps, is simply another unwholesome groove.

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listening to Winnie’s talk this morning

clarifies things

offers good direction

& shines light on what i must do.

i don’t know why i forget, but i do seem to forget

over & over…

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the work, the effort of training the mind is just that

work. effort.

aversion doesn’t help

(laughing)

as i write this, i can at least begin to see when aversion arises

like some great flag has been raised

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today i wrote the words “Wise attention” on my wrist

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because while i can certainly pay attention, it isn’t necessarily wise to pay attention to certain things, or thoughts

so, i used the reminder to apply wise attention

i had to re-write it a few times in the day…

sometimes, just this sort of reminder is all that it takes

to guide my attention, which often wanders around like some rabid, tortuous story-teller of misery & meanness.

*sigh*

we have to start where we are

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and this mind can be quite unruly & wild,

(STILL) so undisciplined.

i think i thought somehow it would just happen

a calm, settled mind.

ahhh, nope.

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this mind needs training.

wild horse training.

and i’m the one to do it.

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with gratitude there are Dharma teachers & teachings as my guide.

no point in trying to hide or shaming myself for where i’m at, in this stage of evolution.

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i have to admit

a part of me was hoping i’d be “further along”

not get ruffled, not get caught up, not spin…

nothing unsavory… or if so, then at least, short, light.

you know, like, puffy clouds…

or meringue…

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alas.

i suppose it’s enough

enough to simply be a part of the living river of Dharma practitioners

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i’m trying.

and i really do hope that’s enough.

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a bow to all who are working with their minds

a bow to wherever you are in your evolution

a bow for your efforts

for your one step forward and two steps back

i bow to you and your efforts.

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may all beings be happy.

 


Good morning – East & West.

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a part of me does NOT want to post the East view (dirty window) because it’s so filthy.

i would clean it – but the windows are old, and the pane of glass has come away from the sash by 1/4″ and i don’t want to risk opening it while the weather is still cold, in case it breaks.

this is the window today

this is the window today

wishing the window to be any different is a madness, an aggression, a subtle aversion.

*sigh*

This is the view, today, right now, as it is, East & West.