moving, revisiting, & wisdom from the organs.

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13 years ago this month

i moved

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from Brooklyn to Ithaca

driven in a truck by my then-boyfriend, loaded with nearly everything i owned, and tucked in the back seat were my two kitties.

Birdy & Oni.

and now

this month i’m moving again to the very same apartment that i moved to 13 years ago this month.

(that would be the apartment that i moved to in Ithaca)

there’s a fancy new toilet

(a germaphobe’s nightmare)

the walls have been painted all lovely like

and there’s a mixed bag of feelings around the move.

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i really shouldn’t be doing anything besides packing and bringing things down to the apartment

(and kissing Izzy & Sophie)

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and certainly not writing a blog post

i should be focusing only on the move

(and kissing Izzy & Sophie)

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aaaaand the apartment.

which is currently in a state of disarray

(i kinda had this hope that i’d move things in just-so & it wouldn’t be so chaotic, but that’s sorta gone out the window…)

13 years later, i have WAY more stuff than can fit in a pick-up truck.

*sigh*

it feels like everything is happening at once.

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i remind myself of something i heard in a Pema Chodron talk –

a reply her teacher, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, said to her in response to her telling him about her life & all the changes going on in it at the time:

“we are ALL always in transition”

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*sigh*

i seem to forget this – transitions are usually slower, benign.

these days, they seem to be more sharply focused.

not saying bad or good

just what it feels like.

i’m going to miss where i’ve been living & who i’ve been living with.

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but there are many positive aspects about this move

and things i cannot even know.

i often try to know.

but the thing is

i don’t know

and that’s a damn good thing

because this rabbit-mind is quick to tell a scary story.

i don’t know how things will unfold

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i will try as best i can to be present with the unfolding.

this in and of itself is challenge enough.

and speaking of challenge,

despite all the Cancer in my natal chart, i suck at arranging furniture.

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i can move into a place that’s existing as is, like when i house sit, and make myself at home just fine.

but this sort of arranging furniture in a pleasing, homey way?

just awful.

instead of making myself feel badly for this lack of domestic wizardry, i’m going to ask friends for help in this regard.

someone recently said to me “some people actually enjoy that sort of thing”

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which is great

because it only seems to make me feel like a prize failure.

the Heart does what the Heart does.

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the Liver does what the Liver does.

the Spleen does what the Spleen does.

no need to ask any one thing to do it all

*sigh of relief*

okay

dinner, then more packing.

and a new Good morning view coming soon.

 

About Marneymae

small organic farmers are my heroes. has a deep appreciation for clean, running water. keeps a digging fork in the trunk of my car to move dead animals off the road. View all posts by Marneymae

2 responses to “moving, revisiting, & wisdom from the organs.

  • mishunderstood

    Change is so damn hard, isn’t it?….almost as hard as arranging furniture (I would not have a clue on that one)…maybe I’m a spleen?? You hit it on the nail when you said “there are many positive aspects about this move and things I cannot even know.” Many of these “things” could and probably will be amazing! 🙂

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