we all know that things can change on a dime, but it’s easy to forget.

okay

Image

so i began to blog because i fell in love with someone last Winter.

someone who i loved in a way i didn’t really understand

in a way that called me to be a way i didn’t know i could be.

strange, easy connection.

but

it didn’t unfold in that capital R relationship-y way

Image

we were, and are friends

and i’m happy for him that he’s found someone with whom there seems to be a quite wonderful connection between the two of them

this is the best of things.

so

i began to blog.

because i had stopped farming

Image

and this relationship-connection where sharing occurred was no longer there…

Image

and

because i felt i had to do something

the energy had to go somewhere

so

i began to blog.

not because i think i have “something to say”

Image

it came more out of a sort of need

to share.

Image

i don’t write much about relationship (or Relationship)

but find that i think about relationships a lot.

not just in that “longing” way, but just thinking about it.

i’m in relationship with everyone

and everything.

all the time.

Image

today

i feel sad, grief i didn’t expect to feel

upon seeing images of a beloved teacher who just passed away.

someone who was very warm, very present, and very kind.

and even though we didn’t share a lot of time out side of the school

there is something in me that feels a great grief in knowing that she’s not embodied any more…

Image

i’d often drive by her house, & every time i would think fondly of her

even though i had only been there once.

i knew it was her house, her home

and memory is a funny and wonderful thing

Image

i feel lucky, fortunate, to have shared some time with this very kind, earthy, strong woman.

and i guess it just brings home

that this time we are here is very short

and we all know that things can change on a dime

and

well

the truth of that kinda freaks me out, and i’m feeling it today.

feeling a kind of achy love feeling inside

for the people & critters in my life today…

thinking of her family, and those close with her…

feeling the web of connection today…

blessings.

Image

About Marneymae

small organic farmers are my heroes. has a deep appreciation for clean, running water. keeps a digging fork in the trunk of my car to move dead animals off the road. View all posts by Marneymae

6 responses to “we all know that things can change on a dime, but it’s easy to forget.

  • Uriel

    M –
    Thank you for your sweet as ever words today, such a niceness to have your virtual company for tea.
    Can I share three stories about our beloved teacher? I’ll take that as a yes . . .
    The first day of school for me as a student, and BF and SB were welcoming the new group of us, and BF said, “Please feel free to speak up in class, ask anything, there are no stupid questions.” And SB chimed right in, “Ohhh, there are stupid questions, alright!” And I thought maybe I’d make it through the 6 months after all.

    When teaching with her some years later, I chanced in on a group of 10 students talking during a break, who got waaaayyy too quiet when I entered the room. After a bit they owned up to being in the middle of a deep discussion about what it would have been like, growing up, with SB and me as their parents. What a crazy thought!

    And my favorite. After too too many looooong ass staff meetings, she showed up one day and ushered me into the kitchen just as everyone was sitting down. And lo! She pulled 2 beers out of her coat pocket, handing me one. “It’s fine”, she said, “as long as we don’t drink them. We’ll just hold them, unopened, while everyone is talking.” Which we did.

    So grateful for her and all she was and is and will be.
    U

  • From The Laundry Room

    This is beautiful. I could actually feel you while I was reading it, the weight of your words. Our connection to one another is really so fragile and vulnerable even though we layer it will all sorts of stuff. I am sorry for your loss, but your expression of that is really stunning.

  • Laurie

    Although I did not know this particular teacher, I appreciate the sentiments about losing one so dear. I can relate. There is just something about the death of a special teacher that hits us deep and personally…at least for me (and you!)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: